The 13 stages of enlightenment by nostril habitation:
- Surprise: Oy! A bug just flew up my right nostril!
- Amusement: Ha! Another bug just flew up right nostril.
- Ridicule: These are really dumb bugs.
- Curiosity: What is so special about my right nostril anyway?
- Fear: What is WRONG with my right nostril?
- Denial: There is no way that was another fly up my right nostril!
- Annoyance: Enough with my right nostril already!
- Anger: If another one of you flies up my right nostril I will hunt you, your neighbors, and all of your families down. I know where you all live!
- Bargaining: How about trying the left nostril for a change?
- Desperation: What politician do I need to sacrifice to keep flies out of my right nostril?
- Acceptance: Obviously my right nostril is where it’s at. Do what you will flies.
- Enlightenment: Come all flies, be one with me within my right nostril. Avoid the left nostril! That way lies confusion.
- Nirvana: Man found dead in the woods. Witnesses claim he was asphyxiated by flies. Autopsy revealed an unimaginable concentration of insect carcasses in the man’s right nostril.
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