Zen and the right nostril

The 13 stages of enlightenment by nostril habitation:

  1. Surprise: Oy! A bug just flew up my right nostril!
  2. Amusement: Ha! Another bug just flew up right nostril.
  3. Ridicule: These are really dumb bugs.
  4. Curiosity: What is so special about my right nostril anyway?
  5. Fear: What is WRONG with my right nostril?
  6. Denial: There is no way that was another fly up my right nostril!
  7. Annoyance: Enough with my right nostril already!
  8. Anger: If another one of you flies up my right nostril I will hunt you, your neighbors, and all of your families down. I know where you all live!
  9. Bargaining: How about trying the left nostril for a change?
  10. Desperation: What politician do I need to sacrifice to keep flies out of my right nostril?
  11. Acceptance: Obviously my right nostril is where it’s at. Do what you will flies.
  12. Enlightenment: Come all flies, be one with me within my right nostril. Avoid the left nostril! That way lies confusion.
  13. Nirvana: Man found dead in the woods. Witnesses claim he was asphyxiated by flies. Autopsy revealed an unimaginable concentration of insect carcasses in the man’s right nostril.

Join the Right Holy Church of Nostril Habitation. Achieve Enlightenment in mere hours. Or if you wish to make a donation:

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