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The Brown Dog Fitness Program

March 13, 2016in Ask Brown Dog0
Cult Fun 0060
With hard work this could be you!

With spring threatening (pretending?) to appear, it is time for those of us who have been seduced by the winter season to work of those pesky inches that holiday food and hiding from the snow puts on. At least that’s what my human claims. But I have noticed since we have gotten back from our wanderings, he has expanded a bit. I have taken it upon myself to establish a workout routine that should have him ready to keep up with me once out in the world again. Those of you who have less than energetic humans might like some of my techniques.

 

  • Sunrise (or earlier) Wake up your slothful human (if necessary). Make it evident how badly you need to go walkies. Prance around until your human has put their skin on and taken you out the door. Then be sure to tug your human at a pace that will pull them along. Once they match that pace, stop short frequently, being sure to put serious pressure on their shoulder sockets. How many times should you do this? There are a lot of factors. The crappier the weather, the more times you should do it. The more tired your human, the more times. In both those situations, make sure that it takes longer. This would be a good time to go if you actually have to go.
  • Sunrise + 1/2 hour Insist on playing with your human. Make sure you do it loudly and all over the house, so your human needs to chase you around. Maybe you will wake the other humans too so they can benefit. Don’t push to hard, let your human rest for a bit after this.
  • Breakfast time Wake up your slothful human (if necessary). Make it evident how badly you need to go walkies. Prance around until your human has put their skin on and taken you out the door. Then be sure to tug your human at a pace that will pull them along. Once they match that pace, stop short frequently, being sure to put serious pressure on their shoulder sockets. How many times should you do this? There are a lot of factors. The crappier the weather, the more times you should do it. The more tired your human, the more times. In both those situations, make sure that it takes longer. This would be a good time to go if you actually have to go.
  • After Breakfast  Every 10-15 minutes, insist on getting your human’s attention, no matter what they are doing. Make sure you are completely unclear on what it is you actually want, but don’t leave them alone until they follow you around trying to figure out what it is.
  • Early afternoon Wake up your slothful human (if necessary). Make it evident how badly you need to go walkies. Prance around until your human has put their skin on and taken you out the door. Then be sure to tug your human at a pace that will pull them along. Once they match that pace, stop short frequently, being sure to put serious pressure on their shoulder sockets. How many times should you do this? There are a lot of factors. The crappier the weather, the more times you should do it. The more tired your human, the more times. In both those situations, make sure that it takes longer. This would be a good time to go if you actually have to go.
  • Rest of the day Every 10-15 minutes, insist on getting your human’s attention, no matter what they are doing. Make sure you are completely unclear on what it is you actually want, but don’t leave them alone until they follow you around trying to figure out what it is.

Follow this routine, and in no time you will have a fit human you will be proud to have by your side in public.

*Hints for diet … to make sure your human is eating well, only eat what they eat. Don’t let the get away with giving you anything else. Be careful, they can be stubborn about this.

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